Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize