i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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