Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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