You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize