after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So squirting runs in the family.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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