you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize