It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I believe in your delicious
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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