just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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