My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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