You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize