I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize