I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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