Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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