i already hear my dad disowning me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize