At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize