it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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