I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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