It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
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i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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