this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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