literally had 100 drinks last night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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