i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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