no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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