Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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