Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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