I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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