Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
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hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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