At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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