My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize