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It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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