I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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