I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize