The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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