I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize