How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
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Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
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