so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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