I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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