I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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