dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize