They should really pass out barf bags in church
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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