Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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