That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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