Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize