That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize