That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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