She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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