u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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