I faked an abortion last night.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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