hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize