oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize