That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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